Ignited Page 8

  I thought about all the accident scenes I’d witnessed over the years. “Amber, I’ve seen a lot of ghastly things as a firefighter, things I wish I could forget. When you suggested that you didn’t want to be saved….” I blew out a breath. “It’s hard for me to hear things like that when the one thing I want to do most in the world is help people.”

  She cast her eyes down. “I guess you think I was being selfish,” she said softly.

  “No,” I corrected her. “I understand why you feel the way you feel.”

  “You do?” Her voice sounded hopeful.

  “I do. Maybe I’m the selfish one because I’m glad you’re here. For a lot of reasons.” I did reach up and touch her face then, and the moment my fingers touched her skin, she sucked in a breath. Giving in to my desire to touch her hair, I threaded my fingers through it and pulled her to me. Her eyes were wide with surprise as she watched me. Her lips were slightly parted, and instinct took over.

  I closed the distance between us, kissing her chastely on the corner of her mouth. When I felt her hands grip each side of my waist, I deepened the kiss. Her lips were soft, her mouth warm. She melded against me as she kissed me in return, our tongues roving, tasting.

  Pulling away, she gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. I could see indecision reflected in her features.

  But it was too late for me. I’d felt the spark of her passion, and I wanted nothing more than to be the man who could make her burst into flames.

  Lowering her hand, she whispered, “Maybe you should take me home.”

  I knew she was torn. She still grieved the death of her fiancé, but I also knew that she’d wanted the kiss just as much as I had. I’d felt her small hands tighten their grasp as the kiss deepened. I’d heard her moan softly in response.

  Her fingertips brushed across her engagement ring, and she began to twist it around her finger.

  Taking her hands in mine, I stilled her fingers. Then, I pulled her gently toward the house. If she wanted to go home, I’d take her. If my parents had taught me anything in my twenty-four years, it was to respect women.

  After saying a quick goodbye to my parents, we left.

  “Would you mind stopping by the pharmacy, so that I can double-check my schedule?”

  “Sure.”

  The pharmacy was on the way, and a few minutes later, I pulled into a parking spot near the front door.

  “I think I’ll run in and grab another bottle of eye drops,” I said.

  She nodded, and I followed her into the store. While she stood at the counter, running her fingertip along the schedule, I quickly found the aisle with the eye drops and grabbed a double-pack. When I was at the cash register paying, she finished up her perusal and walked up beside me, patiently waiting for my purchase to be completed.

  The elderly cashier announced the total, and while I counted out the money, she turned her attention to Amber.

  “Someone was looking for you earlier.”

  I snapped my head up to look at the cashier’s face and then slowly turned to look at Amber. I could see the horror as the woman’s words sunk in.

  “For me?” Amber asked, flattening her palm out against her chest.

  The old woman nodded as I handed her the money. “You’re last name’s Lawson, right?

  Amber froze.

  Amber Lawson?” the elderly lady clarified, looking for some sign that she wasn’t mistaken.

  “Yes.” Amber pursed her lips. “What did he look like?”

  The cashier counted out my change, and I stuffed it in my pocket as I waited for her to answer Amber’s question.

  “Brown hair. Maybe in his twenties, but I ain’t gonna swear to that. I’m not real good at guessing ages.”

  “What did you tell him?” Amber asked, worry evident in her voice.

  The old woman puffed air out between her lips. “I told him I’d never heard of you.”

  Amber sighed in relief, while I wondered what she wasn’t telling me.

  Chapter 9

  Alarm

  Amber

  When we got back in Hawk’s SUV, he didn’t immediately crank it. Instead, he sat quietly, his hands on the steering wheel.

  I glanced at him wondering why he was hesitating. He stared straight ahead, his jaw clenched. I could tell he was mulling the situation over in his mind, and I patiently waited for him to speak first.

  Finally, he looked at me, his dark brows drawn together in concern. “I’m not letting you stay in your apartment alone tonight.”

  “Hawk, you can’t stay with me. You have to work in the morning, and with your allergies, you wouldn’t get any sleep.”

  “You’re coming to my apartment.”

  My eyes flew to his face. “You want me to sleep at your place?”

  “I can’t let you stay there by yourself. Not until I know what’s going on.”

  “I have to take care of Gracie.”

  “We’ll swing by your apartment and feed her, and you can grab some clothes.”

  He said it with such finality that I didn’t question him. “Okay,” I agreed.

  When we pulled into my driveway, Gracie’s eyes glowed green in the headlights as she sat in the front window, waiting patiently on my arrival.

  “Hand me your house key,” Hawk instructed as he killed the engine, and I fished it from my front pocket and obediently handed it over.

  I followed him to the front door, and he pushed it open, hesitating before he stepped inside. He flipped the light switch, and Gracie leapt from the windowsill and hurtled toward us. Scooping her into my arms, I rubbed her chin. “Hey, Gracie,” I whispered. “Did you miss me?”

  She immediately began purring, and Hawk reached over and stroked her fur. “Hey, kitty.” He patted her head, and a series of three sneezes ripped from his body.

  “Bless you,” I said when they finally ceased.

  He held his chest. “That hurt.”

  I felt bad for him, and knowing that the only thing I could do to help him was to make the stop as quick as possible, I carried Gracie to the kitchen. Setting her down, I rummaged in the cat food cabinet for her treats. I poured a few in her dish. While she gobbled them, I opted for a can of wet food instead of her dry food to try to make up for the fact that I wouldn’t be home tonight. After filling her food bowl, I gave her fresh water, and then went to grab a few things.

  Hawk waited in the living room while I carefully folded my pharmacy uniform and placed it in the pink canvas bag that I got as a free gift at Francesca’s Frillies, the lingerie shop a couple of doors down from the pharmacy. When I’d left Alabama, I’d only taken a small suitcase. Once I’d gotten my first paycheck from the pharmacy, I’d supplemented my wardrobe with some matching bra and panty sets.

  I tucked my underclothing in the bag along with some shorts, a soft tee to sleep in, a few toiletries, and my makeup. Rejoining him in the living room, I threw my handbag in the top of the canvas bag.

  “Let me tell Gracie bye, and I’ll be ready,” I told him as I put the bag down on the couch next to him. Not waiting for him to reply, I walked into the kitchen and found Gracie sitting in front of her food dish, licking her paw.

  I bent down and rubbed the top of her head. “I’ll see you tomorrow, girl, okay?”

  She stood, pushing against my hand in response.

  I stroked the length of her back, her tail whipping into the air with the movement.

  “Bye, Gracie.”

  When Hawk and I exited my duplex, he scanned the road. I knew he was looking for anything suspicious, and I found myself doing the same.

  He took my bag from me and walked me to the vehicle, opening the passenger-side door. When I climbed in, he handed me the bag.

  We were quiet as he drove across town to his apartment. The small two-story complex only had eight apartments, four on the top floor and four on the bottom. Hawk’s apartment was on the lower level in the corner of the building.

  Following him inside, I was shocked by how imm
aculate it was. Nothing was out of place. “Wow!” I said, looking around. “This is nice.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You must be a clean freak.”

  I saw a flash of white teeth as his lips curled into a grin. “Not really. I just live simply. Since I only buy what I need, I have plenty of space to store it. Plus, the Captain’s pretty particular about housekeeping at the fire hall, so I’ve learned to keep things tidy.”

  Setting my bag down in his brown leather recliner, I walked to the mantle, admiring the large framed print of an antique fire engine that hung above it. A few knickknacks rested on the mantle, all firefighter related, and as I turned around, I noticed another print near the front door that was a tribute to the firefighters of 9/11.

  Noticing my perusal, he pointed to the mantle. “They were all gifts from my family.” He thumbed toward the other print. “That one I bought myself. I can still remember when it happened. My dad was glued to the television.” Hawk exhaled loudly as he stared into oblivion. Turning back to me, he continued, “It was one of the few times I’ve seen him cry.”

  I didn’t know what to say, so I just listened as he continued to talk.

  “When I saw that print, I couldn’t walk out of the store without it. Now that I’m older, and a firefighter myself….” He shrugged his shoulders. “I guess I just have a better understanding of the magnitude of that day.”

  “It’s definitely a day that will never be forgotten,” I said softly. “Not just because of the tragedy, but because of the heroism, too.”

  He nodded in agreement. “I guess I should show you the rest of the house.” He picked up my bag, and I followed him as he pointed out the kitchen, the bathroom, and the bedroom. He set my bag down on his bed, which was neatly made in a gray and black comforter. “You can have the bedroom. I’m afraid we’ll have to share the bathroom in the hall.”

  “The couch is fine with me.”

  “Absolutely not. You’ll take the bed. I’ll take the couch.”

  “That’s very nice of you.”

  “Why don’t you get settled? Let me know if you need anything.”

  “I think I’ve got everything I need. I’m just going to change, and I’ll meet you back in the living room.”

  He left, closing the door behind him. I quickly changed into my shorts and tee shirt. When I walked back into the main part of the house, he was sitting on the couch, watching television. My guilty conscience nibbled at my insides as I thought about how kind he’d been to me, even though he knew very little about me. I should talk to him, fill him in, tell him I might know who was following me.

  “Hawk.”

  His expression immediately changed when he turned to look at me. Once he realized I wanted to say something, he muted the television. “Are you all right?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, but I was wondering if I could talk to you.”

  He patted the seat beside him, and I sat down, pulling my feet onto the couch and sitting cross-legged beside him.

  “If I was out of line by kissing you earlier….”

  “I wanted you to kiss me.”

  “But?”

  “But that’s not what I want to talk to you about.”

  “And what do you want to talk about?”

  “I know who might be following me.”

  “Who?”

  “My former fiancé’s mother.”

  “His mother?” I could hear the surprise in his voice.

  “Well, she’s not the one following me, obviously, but I wouldn’t put it past her to pay someone to find me.”

  “And why would she do that?”

  “She wants my engagement ring back.”

  “That seems like a lot of trouble just to get a ring back,” he said, his curiosity piqued.

  “Well, it’s not just any ring. It’s a family heirloom, a very, very expensive family heirloom, and it’s traced back for many generations. Whoever inherits it is supposed to pass it down to his firstborn son, and now that my fiancé has passed, his family wants the ring back, so that his younger brother can give it to his future fiancé.”

  “So why don’t you give it back to them?”

  I looked at the ring on my finger, and it brought back so many memories, good and bad.

  “His parents never wanted me to have it,” I said matter-of-factly. “They never thought I was good enough for him, that I was good enough to be Mrs. Carrington Reed, III.”

  “Don’t ever allow anyone to make you feel that you’re not good enough.” His voice was soft, gentle, much like him. He reached out and stroked the strand of hair that had fallen in front of my shoulder. The intensity of his gaze made my breath hitch. He caressed me with his eyes, their cerulean warmth both comforting me and exciting me. When I was with him, it was easy to allow myself to get lost in the moment, too easy. My traitorous mind had begun to replace my thoughts of my fiancé with thoughts of Hawk.

  I knew Carey wasn’t coming back, and I knew that even though he’d always be with me on some level, eventually, I’d have to let him go.

  Reluctantly, I broke eye contact, focusing on the ring. “I didn’t want to give it back,” I said softly, “because it was his gift to me. When I wear it, I feel closer to him.”

  “Did you tell his mother that? Surely, she’d at least give you time to grieve his loss.”

  I laughed without humor. “You obviously don’t know his mother.”

  “The ring? That’s why you left?”

  My line of vision dropped to the ring again. “It was more than that.” I lifted my eyes to his. “It was the ring. It was his mother. It was my family.” I lifted my eyes to his, and he was still watching me while he patiently awaited my answer. “Haven’t you ever wanted to just disappear? To run so far, so fast, that no one would ever find you?”

  “I’ve had my share of bad days, but everything—everyone—I care about is here. Don’t you miss your family?”

  I felt the sting of tears as they threatened to fill my eyes. I swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “I don’t want to talk about my family.”

  “So what do you want to talk about?”

  “Anything else.”

  “Did you know that butterflies taste with their feet?” he asked, his expression deadly serious.

  My lips twitched into a grin. “Their feet, huh?”

  “Yep. Their feet.”

  “So if I were a butterfly and you fixed me breakfast in the morning, I’d have to squish scrambled eggs between my toes to know whether you’re a good cook or not?”

  “Sounds pretty tasty, doesn’t it?”

  I licked my lips and laughed. “Delicious.”

  His expression turned serious. “You’re beautiful when you smile.”

  I nervously began fiddling with the ring around my finger.

  He stilled my hands beneath his large, warm palms. “Makes me pretty glad I’m not a butterfly.”

  “Why’s that?” I whispered.

  “Because I really want to taste you right now, and I very much prefer to use my tongue.”

  He leaned in and touched his lips to mine, and as I closed my eyes, I struggled with my loyalty to Carey and my need to move past the horrible void that had swallowed me. His hand cupped my neck, and I let my emotions take over any conscious thought. As my heart pounded in my chest, I found myself reaching for him, enjoying the feel of his hands on my skin.

  Pulling away, his palm cupped my shoulder. “If you want to stop….”

  “You said that one is your favorite number,” I whispered against his lips.

  He slowly nodded.

  “One more kiss won’t hurt us,” I said softly, missing the feel of his lips against my own.

  He hovered just above my face, his eyes searching mine. I wanted to grab him by the nape and pull him to me, but his close scrutiny rendered me immobile.

  “I’m intrigued by you, Amber,” he whispered.

  I remained silent, waiting to see what he would do next. He bent his head down, his
lips skimming the tender flesh of my neck. My chest heaved as I tried to draw in a breath. I wanted to pull him nearer and push him away at the same time.

  When the warmth of his tongue flicked against my skin, I lolled my head back, giving him further access.

  “If I only get one more kiss tonight,” he said, his breath hot against the pulsing artery in my neck, “then, I’m going to make it last as long as possible.”

  His lips left a trail of heat as they traveled upward to the edge of my jawline. When he finally made it back to my lips, I was eager for his kiss, for the feeling of closeness between us. I’d been alone for so long, I’d forgotten what it was to crave another human’s touch.

  Especially when it was Hawk.

  He made me want things that no one had made me want since I’d lost my fiancé. The thought both terrified and titillated me. As his palm skimmed my thigh, sensations began building between my legs.

  Our tongues explored, and my body arched toward him. When I crawled upon my knees and took his face in my palms, he pulled away.

  “Did I do something wrong?” I asked, wondering why he ended the kiss abruptly.

  He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing with the movement. “You’re doing everything right,” he said softly. “And if I don’t stop now, I’ll be wanting a helluva lot more than one more kiss.”

  I hoped he didn’t think I was trying to lead him on. I’d just been caught up in the moment, glad to feel something beside the melancholy that had been threatening to pull me into the darkest recesses of existence.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean to….”

  Gently grasping my chin, he tilted my face to his. “Don’t you dare apologize,” he said forcefully. “Not for that. But I refuse to take it any further until I know that you’re sure, and somehow, I don’t think you’re ready for more. Not now.”

  He was right, of course, and even though I’m not sure at what point I would have stopped, I was glad that he was thoughtful enough to only want what was best for me.

  Standing, I immediately missed his warmth. “Good night, Hawk.”

  “Night.”

  I lingered a moment more, examining his face, before I turned and strode toward the privacy of his bedroom.