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“Let’s go inside so you can warm up,” I suggested.
“But your allergies….”
“I’ll live.”
“I’ve been trying to dust and vacuum more frequently,” she said as she walked inside. “I wasn’t sure if it would help or not.”
Gracie charged toward me, and I reached down and patted her head, trying not to stroke her, which would result in her fur and dander becoming airborne.
Amber shooed her. “Go sit in the window, Gracie.”
“She’s okay.”
I blinked a few times as Gracie trotted back toward the kitchen. “On second thought, do you have any objections to going to my place?”
“No, let me grab a jacket.”
Once I reached the car, I doused my eyes again, trying to clear my vision before I began driving. I had a lot of questions swirling in my head, but I thought it better to wait until we were settled in my apartment, instead of barraging her in the car. “Are you hungry?”
“Maybe a little.”
“I could pick something up. You want a burger?”
“That’s fine. I just want a small one.”
After hitting a drive-through, I drove us to my apartment. Once we were inside, we settled at the kitchen table. She only ate half of her burger and a few fries. She was still quite thin, but I was confident that her appetite would pick up now that she seemed happier.
I’d made small talk, asking her about her day. Her answer was routine, and I was sure she hadn’t been aware that she had been followed.
After cleaning up the kitchen table, we moved to the living room. Since it was early October, the days were shorter. I turned on a lamp to chase away the darkness, but since I wanted to have a serious conversation, I didn’t turn on the television.
She must have noticed something was up because her brow creased. “What is it?”
“Who’s Deborah Lawson?”
“My mother. Why? How’d you know her name?”
“I know you mentioned that your parents expected you to go to college, that they didn’t understand what you were going through right now, but other than that, have they done something to you? They haven’t abused you or anything, have they?”
“No,” she said without hesitation. “Why would you ask me that?”
“I just want to make sure that you’re okay. I know sometimes people find themselves in difficult situations. I want you to know that I would help you. You can trust me.”
“I do trust you. Where is this coming from? Why would you think my parents had abused me?” I could tell from her expression that she was telling the truth.
I reached out and touched her red-gold hair, feeling its softness. “I worry about you.”
Her eyes studied me, and she swallowed. “I’m glad that you care,” she said barely above a whisper.
“I asked Jace to keep an eye on you while you were riding to work.”
Her eyes widened. “He’s been following me?”
“Not really following you. Just checking up on you when he had the time. I would’ve done it myself if I didn’t have to be at work so early.”
“I told you I was fine.”
“He pulled your mother over this morning. Did you know she was following you?”
A look of shock settled over her face. “My mother? That’s impossible.”
“Deborah Lawson is your mother, isn’t she?”
“Yes, but she doesn’t know I’m in Creekview.”
“Why wouldn’t you want your parents to know where you are?”
“Because I couldn’t take it for another minute. She and my dad both telling me that I needed to give the ring back and move on, that I needed to focus on school, on getting a good education.
“I tried to tell them that I wasn’t ready to move on, but they wouldn’t listen. I tried to tell them that I had no desire to go to college, and they kept insisting that I needed to go.”
“It sounds like they’re worried about you, like they’re trying to be good parents.”
“Good parents listen to their children. I’m twenty. They have to let me grow up, let me make my own choices. Right or wrong, they have to be my choices.”
“So you didn’t tell them where you were going?”
“No, that’s the reason that I don’t have a cell phone or a car. I don’t want anything in my name because I don’t want them to track my whereabouts somehow, but I do mail them letters. I want them to know that I’m okay, but I don’t want to give them the chance to lecture me. Not right now.” She exhaled as if she were contemplating the situation. “I just don’t know how she found out I’m here. I’m always very careful about riding the bus to Chattanooga to mail the letters.”
I closed my eyes. It all made sense now. I groaned. “The letter that you wanted me to mail when I was going to Chattanooga for training.”
“What about it?”
“I had a stamp in the car, so I put it on the letter and dropped it in the box.”
“In Creekview?”
I nodded.
“Shit,” she murmured.
“I’m sorry, Amber. I had no idea.”
“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have put you in the middle of it.”
“Maybe you should talk to them.”
“You don’t know my parents. They’re relentless. My mom won’t leave me alone now unless I go somewhere else or go back home with her.”
“Jace said your mom was driving a small black car. Do your parents have a white car, too?”
“No,” she said. “At least not that I know of, not unless they bought it recently.”
“So I wonder who was following you in a white car?”
“Probably Carey’s parents. Or more likely someone they hired.”
“If that’s the case, you have more parents chasing you than a groom at a shotgun wedding.”
“Now all I have to do is figure out how to get rid of them.” Her fingers immediately began rubbing her bare ring finger. “Sending the ring back to the Reeds should get them off my back. The only problem is their address is at my parents’ house, and I’m not ready to go back home yet. I’m starting to enjoy being on my own. I feel like I can breathe again.”
“I think you should talk to them. It’s not like they can force you to do anything.”
She immediately started shaking her head. “Not yet.”
“It’s your decision. Just try to think about it from their perspective.” I thought about my parents, and I would never want them to worry needlessly.
“I know you must think I sound incredibly selfish, but I just want you to understand that when I left, I was in a place where I needed time for myself. As much as I love my parents, I had to distance myself from them, from everything, really. For my own sanity.”
Taking her hands in mine, I rubbed my thumbs over her knuckles. “I’m not judging you, Amber. I get it. I just thought a phone call to let them know that you’re okay might ease them. It might even convince them to go back home and wait for you.”
She graced me with a small smile. “Do you always do this?”
I raised my brows. “What?”
“Make sure everyone’s okay. You always make sure I’m okay. Now you’re trying to make sure my parents are okay. When your friends are drinking, you’re the one making sure they all get home okay.”
Pursing my lips, I studied her hands as I thought about how to respond. They were small and delicate, and I loved the way they felt in mine. I rubbed my thumbs across the back of her hands, admiring their softness. When I looked up, she was watching me. “It’s the only way I know how to be, Amber.”
She leaned in and kissed me on the lips. Hugging me as she rested her cheek against my chest, she said, “It’s part of your charm, and I wouldn’t want you to be any other way.”
“So you’ll call them?”
“No.”
“You won’t?”
“Do you want me to leave Creekview?”
“Of course not.”
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“If I talk to my mother while she’s here, she’ll insist that I go back home with her. And part of me wants to. I miss my brothers, and yes, I miss my parents, too.” She squeezed me. “But I don’t want to leave Creekview right now. I feel better than I’ve felt in a very long time, and I’m not ready to let that go. And I want to be here…with you.”
I kissed the top of her head and stroked her hair, her words pleasing me.
She tilted her face and looked at me. “But I will send them a letter and let them know that I’m fine and that I’ll be home for Thanksgiving. That’ll give me a little more time to figure things out.” She looked at her hands. “And I’ll tell them to let the Reeds know that I’ll be returning the ring. I don’t need it anymore.”
I rubbed her back.
“There is one thing that would make me feel better,” she continued. “If I give you their number, would you call them and let them know that I’m fine, tell them I’m sending them a letter.”
I knew they would want to hear from her, but if she wasn’t ready to make the call, then I would gladly do it if it would bring her parents a few days of relief while they waited on the letter.
I wasn’t the only one who knew how to bail out. The flames had gotten too hot for Amber in Alabama, and she had bailed before they consumed her. I hoped that as she healed, the flames would lose their intensity, and she’d be able to visit her parents’ home without the distress and misery that had caused her to flee in the first place.
Chapter 13
Search and Rescue
Amber
I thought about Hawk a lot. It terrified me and thrilled me at the same time. My thoughts had been filled with Carey for so long, it felt traitorous to let another man consume me. In the beginning, I’d had to remind myself that Carey was no longer alive, but I was. On a lot of levels, it felt like I died the same day Carey did. My life had come to a grinding halt. I’d lost my purpose, my friend, my fiancé, my future. But in reality, life never stopped for the living. Things continued whether we wanted them to or not. I never expected to meet someone like Hawk. I hadn’t wanted to, hadn’t tried to, but life was happening all around me. And fate can’t be avoided.
On the day of the accident, Hawk had searched for me in the burning car and rescued me from the death that I had been willing to accept. But I realized that wasn’t the only time he had rescued me. I felt happy for the first time in months. When I first met Hawk, he had embedded a tiny ember of hope within me. He’d nourished that ember until I began seeing little glimmers of a bright orange glow that brightened when he was near and grew dimmer when I was engulfed in solitude. He blew on them gently, nurturing those embers until they became tiny flickers of hope and happiness.
I’m not sure I even realized it was happening at the time, at least not the magnitude. I supposed it had happened one tiny breath at a time. Hawk had saved me twice, one rescue more apparent than the other but both equally important.
And as I stood in his kitchen, I realized that my life had changed course. It was scary, but I knew with certainty that I liked where it was headed.
Since Jace and I typically worked the same hours, Hawk had arranged for him to drive me to work on the days that he was at the fire hall. Originally, I hadn’t wanted anyone to be inconvenienced, but the thought of my mother seeing me on the bike and following me was a real concern.
She was tenacious and persuasive, and I didn’t have the energy these days to try to make her understand. I’d always had difficulty going against her wishes, which is why I thought it better that I not speak to her while she was close by. I knew her. She would manage to convince me to go home with her, but in my heart, I knew this was something that I had to make it through on my own. I knew that the best place for me now was with Hawk. I wanted to heal completely, to explore our relationship. I wasn’t sure whether my parents would approve, and I didn’t want to give them the chance to douse my fledgling happiness with a bucketful of what they thought I should do.
Hawk had to stay at the station late tonight for training, so he’d arranged for Jace to take me home. After I checked on Gracie, Jace was kind enough to take me to the grocery store to grab a few things and drop me off at Hawk’s apartment.
I wanted to surprise him with a homemade dinner, so I’d picked up the ingredients for lasagna, one of my favorite dishes.
Taking a deep breath, I replaced all the thoughts that had been churning in my mind with the simple pleasure of cooking. I’d always loved to cook, and when I lived at home, I often had supper ready when my parents came home from work.
The lasagna was in the oven, and the table was set. I stood at the sink, washing dishes, when Hawk arrived.
“Something smells incredible,” he said as he closed the door behind him.
I glanced over my shoulder, smiling, as he came into the kitchen carrying a single yellow rose. “A beautiful rose for my beautiful girl.” He kissed me on the temple and held the rose up to my nose so I could breathe in its delicate fragrance.
“You bring a different color every time.”
He tucked the rose behind my ear. “I’m not just bringing you flowers,” he said softly, his fingertips gentle as they glided down my face. “I’m bringing you a rainbow.”
How did he always know the right thing to say? Something shifted inside of me as all my senses were consumed by him. His touch was tender as if I were made of blown glass, delicate and fragile. His soft voice soothed me, its depth clearly masculine. The concern on his face made my breath hitch, and I knew he was gauging my reaction. As I breathed in the subtle scent of his cologne, he kissed me, chastely at first, but then, he deepened the kiss. The dishes momentarily forgotten, I pulled my hands from the water, clenching the back of his shirt in my fists. He tasted sweet, like candy.
His tongue gently explored my mouth as if he were savoring every moment.
All too soon, he ended the kiss, and his warm hands that had encircled my neck dropped to his sides. I immediately missed his touch.
His face grew serious. “I stopped at Whiskey Nights last night and used their phone to call your mother.”
“You did? Is she still in town?”
“She insisted on talking to you.”
“You didn’t tell her where I was, did you?”
“No, I’ll leave that up to you, but Amber, she was adamant that you needed to call her immediately. She said that she has something to tell you. I offered to pass along any messages, but she insisted that it was something she had to tell you herself—in person.”
“See, didn’t I tell you? That’s the way my mother is. She has a way of talking me into whatever she wants. That’s why I didn’t want to talk to her myself. I’d be on my way back to Alabama right now.”
I hesitated, watching him, knowing how important family was to him. “I can’t, Hawk, not yet.”
Taking my hands in his, he nodded.
“You told her that I was sending a letter and that I would be home for Thanksgiving?”
“I told her.”
“Then she knows I’m okay?”
“Yeah, I made sure that she knew you were fine. She wanted to know who I was. All I told her was that I was your friend. I figured if you wanted her to know anything else, then you’d tell her.”
“I’ll introduce you to my parents at Thanksgiving. I’ll just warn you now. They can be a little intense.”
To my surprise, he broke out into a huge smile, obviously unperturbed by my warning. “When I have a daughter, I plan on being intense, too. Knowing how some of my friends are, I may even lock her in her room just to protect her from guys like them.”
“And what about you? Does a girl need to be protected from a guy like you?”
“I don’t know. Depends on the girl, I guess. I’m a little pickier than my friends.”
“You are?”
He pulled me to him, placing his hand on my chest, just above my breast. “I am. I’m after her heart, not just her body. To the right girl, I
may even be more dangerous than my friends because I want all of her.”
A tingle shot down my spine. It would be so easy to fall in love with a guy like Hawk. The attraction between us was undeniable, and I wasn’t sure I had the power to deny him anything. When I was with him, he made me feel alive. When he touched me, he sparked something deep inside of me, a carnal desire stronger than any I’d ever known. I think it was the goodness that he showed on every level that amplified any sexual feelings for him.
Even now as he gazed at me, his azure eyes contrasting sharply against his dark brows, I imagined his hands roving my body, touching me, and I could feel a tingling sensation between my legs at the mere thought. Self-conscious under his perusal, I swallowed, wondering what he was thinking. I decided to shift the center of the conversation.
“I think the lasagna should be ready. Have a seat and I’ll get it out of the oven.”
He did as I instructed.
“Do you think Mason really loves Lexi?” I asked him as I gathered the pot holders.
He didn’t hesitate. “Yeah. I’ve known Mason long enough to know that if he didn’t love her, they wouldn’t be together right now. I think for Mason, Lexi was the dangerous one.” As I glanced at him, he pointed at me. “Now with Cade, who knows what will happen? He’s a wild card.”
I pulled the lasagna from the oven and kept the conversation flowing while I served it. “I think Seren likes him.”
“Picked up on that, did ya?”
“I saw the way she looked at him when we were bowling. Does he know?”
Hawk laughed. “I doubt it, but I think Seren’s trying to decide just how she wants to break it to him. I’ll leave that for the two of them to sort out.”
“I agree,” I said, pouring us each a glass of sweet tea that I’d made. “Matchmaking rarely works out well.”
“Does that mean you’ve been on a bad blind date?”
Joining him at the table, I repositioned the rose behind my ear. “No. My first blind date was with Carey, and we hit it off pretty quickly. But we were the exception. Some of my friends have some real horror stories about their blind dates.” I cut a bite of lasagna, pausing before I ate it. “Have you been on a bad blind date?”